I'm now a nurse midwife!

So yesterday morning baby Hunter needed to take his morning turd, however he seemed to be having troubles. He would get in these weird positions and grunt and sometimes cry, however nothing would come out. Hunter would put his arms above his head while pushing against the wall and crossing his legs at the same time, do a mid air push-up while crossing his ankles, or while I was sitting down he would get in between my legs, put one arm over each leg, then just hang there and cry. I was with him all morning while he was having "contractions" and trying to talk him through the process. Hunter would cry and say, "Bum, hurts". In return I would say, "Take a turd! You can do it!" I never imagined those words would ever come out of my mouth. After hours of drama I finally held his little ankles apart while he was pushing and after a lot of crying Hunter finally, with much effort, produced the turd of all turds. While cleaning his diaper I decided to show him his turd, in hopes he would understand what all the discomfort was about. He was mesmerized, and it was love at first sight. After wrapping his diaper up, then sealing it in a plastic grocery I asked him to take his prized possession to the side yard, (where we keep the dirty diapers until trash day). He would not part with his turd, and held it like it was a baby. I couldn't believe it! Needless to say, Hunter is on a fruit and water diet for a while, hoping that this nightmare won't happen again anytime soon.